Monday, February 16, 2009

no more excuses

Some days I wake up in the middle of the night with all of these ideas in my head. I have tried putting together ideas for a book or 2 or 3 for years now but it just never seems to fit together correctly. Yet that thought is always there. Last night for the first time I simply wrote down my idea & went back to sleep. Now I can't find where I wrote it LOL

I love winter, I love the cold...yet I am craving sprintime & flowers. Again, I have this picture in my head of how I want the front & back yards to look. I cut pictures out of magazines & pasted them together. I know just what I want where....but there is nothing I can do until the ground thaws.

Excuses! There is nothing but excuses in there. I have to learn to take the word "but" out of my vocabulary. Of course there are things I can do! I just need to find them. AH HA! A plan of attack for the day!!

I made a committment to not jump on people when they post tings that are contradictory or flat out lies. It's been a tough one for me because I remember so many things. Only once in a week did I do's the same person that I usually do. My solution has been to just ignore that person. Close my eyes & ignore it all. I am confident that I can make that change for the good.

I am working on smiling more. One of my goals this year is to be someone that others want to be around. It's been a tough road where I forgot to enjoy things, to laugh for real & just be me. Partly I'm sure it's the medication (thank goodness the first one I tried helped the anxiety & depression) and partly my head is clearing of the fog. I can see me again. I love me again!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

a new beginning

A new place, a new blog! Nothing like a fresh start for a new year.
I have made a goal for 2009...I will shine in 2009!!

We all have bad days, we all feel down in the dumps, some even suffer major depression (I am one of them). I feel like I need a place to come to be happy...I think to force myself to come here & be positive.

I have great days where life feels good, where I feel like the old me (thank you medication!!). But sometimes that sneaky little bugger sits on my shoulder & tells me how sad I should be. This is NOT for that. This is where I & anyone else who feels the need for sunshine can come.

One of the most positive forces in my life, in the last almost 6 years has been Mary Kay. People joke that it's like a cult...I thought those women were certainly on something the first time I went to a meeting. Yet, the strangest thing happened! I crave that pink prozac, I crave getting applauded for making it out on a Monday night. Thru what I have learned there, I have been able to teach my boys the importance of goal setting.

There are lots of things tumbling around in my head to put here....I will get to all of them. I will figure out a way to straighten the brain I put it all into words that make sense LOL

It's a great day!!!